Even as a young child, I was always interested in True Crime. I was morbidly fascinated by “Forensic Files”, “Cold Case Files”, and other TV shows that documented rapes, crimes of passion, and carefully planned murders. As an insomniac, I would watch these well into the night, and my dreams would be punctuated by talk of gunshots, blood spatter, and fingerprints. And I was hooked!

Now, as a young adult, my true crime obsession has lead me to friends, historical information about society and culture, and deepened my love of science. My current past time is to listen to a podcast by two amazingly smart, witty comedians from California who talk about their “favorite murder” for the week. My Favorite Murder is my escape when I’m driving to and from work, no matter how bad my shift was or how much I feel like an imposter, those two women understand me. And the legions of followers (lovingly dubbed “murderinos”) are largely female. And up until recently, hiding in the shadows about their interest. Much like the actual serial killers these women love to learn about. But what makes this podcast so different, so fresh, is that they use humor to mitigate the horror that accompanies being a woman in this world — where even your own bed isn’t safe. But mixed into all of that humor and jokes, they have investigated the psychology behind some of our nation’s hardest and scariest murderers. They have praised women who said “fuck politeness” and went against societal norms to make sure they were safe instead of the nice, young woman helping Ted Bundy with his packages. [In fact, the podcast has spurned many catchphrases – “Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered”, “Stay out of the Forest”, “Fuck Politeness”, etc all aimed at giving women the power and confidence to stay safe] Or the woman who wouldn’t let a security officer from her apartment building into her apartment after she had been near-raped — only to find out he was the rapist. They have championed for mental health awareness and getting help. Those two women are friends who see their interest in true crime as a way to help other women from being victims. All while making us laugh while doing it.

It took me a long time, and in truth it took the podcast hosts a while to figure out too, that many true crime “fans” are female. Not because we want to kill, we love the men that do it, or because we are “weird”. Most are true crime fanatics because we want to make sure we understand how and why men would like to kill or rape us, so that we can protect ourselves. Story after story, Georgia and Karen recall the accounts of women being murdered or raped for a multitude of reasons — some having origins in the murderer’s childhood, some just because the victim happened to be in the wrong place in the wrong time; but in truth, crime against women can happen to anyone and at any time. In fact, according to RAINN, 55% of all rapes happen in the victim’s home and 48% were sleeping or doing another activity at home when the rape occurred. And according to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime 2015 report, about 95% of homicide perpetrators are male. They also noticed that young males aged 19-25 have the highest rates of murder (largely due to gang violence targeting other young males), once the murder happens in a home — female victim rates go up as well. The gender discrepancy also changes once the perpetrators relationship to the victim is analyzed. Female murder and rape victims usually know their perpetrator — either as an acquaintance or even a current boyfriend/husband. The story, over and over again, is that we are not safe.

This weekend, on Twitter, illustrated that point even more. With the #metoo movement, with victims of sexual harassment or sexual violence, standing up and saying “Me too”, the expanse of the problem was made to have a face. Over 500,000 people tweeted #metoo, some with a story, some with just those two words. Females in all walks of life, all ages, all races stood up and made their voice heard – some for the very first time. I spent all weekend watching these brave victims talking about their experiences. And often, how the victims felt like they couldn’t do anything either to protect themselves or to get justice. Likely with good reasons too, according to RAINN, 99% of sexual violence perpetrators do not get convicted. Stories of backlash, people not believing them, people blaming them popped up so quickly that I didn’t even have time to finish reading the first before another showed up. Women stood up and shouted “Me too!”. No longer were they afraid of what could happen to them in retaliation. No longer were they afraid of how people they would view them after their disclosure. No longer were they afraid. If I have ever seen people exemplifying “Fuck Politeness” and the sense of “My Favorite Murder” it was this weekend!

They always say, to start a movement, you just need one little spark. And I hope that this weekend, and the multitude of injustices that have yet to have a witty hashtag attached to it, is the start. It is time that we are no longer just prey or victims. And it is no longer appropriate that we only teach young girls self-defense, to dress modestly, to pretend like we do no like sex, to watch out for your surroundings, to have escape routes. It is time we teach young boys (and some adults too….) that females are not property to be owned or used. Violence against another person is not acceptable and will not be tolerated in our society any longer. It is no longer acceptable that women have to figure out the minds of serial killers and rapists to stay safe in their own houses.

So, fuck politeness, This woman isn’t going to a victim any longer. And neither should you.