I’m in a rut. A monotonous routine of getting up, going to work, complaining about work, my lack of a love life, and my complete lack of motivation of get off my booty and work out/eat better. But c’mon, doesn’t chocolate cake and wine on the couch with the latest Netflix sound great after a long day? Especially if you’ve been yelled at by every patient for not getting to them fast enough, not being able to cure the common cold, or for telling that there is no emergent cause for their 6 month long episode of abdominal pain but that they should drink more water and eat more fiber so they poop more regularly….sometimes chocolate cake is the only thing that understands!

So that’s what I’ve been doing for a while. Sitting on my couch and complaining. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve done things to help my mental state and to get out of this rut. I regularly go to therapy and get a lot from it. I’ve read self help books. I’ve cleaned and organized my apartment multiple times so it feels like I have my life in order. I make time to go out and be social with other co-residents even if it’s just for a lunch after didactics or a movie. And I travel home (or really anywhere that isn’t Southeast Michigan) as much as possible. However, when left to my own devices, I’m sitting on my couch with Mr. Netflix and Mr. Chocolate Cake. We have a serious relationship and I’m not sure they’ll understand if I say “it’s not you, it’s me!”

And during one of these long “Netflix and Processed Sugar” binges, I actually paused and read the Instagram caption of one of my high school alums, Kat. I had previously tried out one of her monthly challenges, I did it half-assed like I had done many things previously in my life. I barely worked out and only kinda followed her macro/meal planning (where was my delicious and ever supportive Mr. Chocolate Cake? Obviously this wasn’t for me!). So I quit – just like I had done previously with the self help books advice, the countless diets I have tried in the past, and the journaling/blogging I have started and stopped so many times before. But I continued to follow her (maybe my subconscious was just waiting for the day to come when I actually read her captions). So my life continued of deepening my butt imprint on my couch, scrolling right past her posts full of praise, positivity and championing consistency (not my strong suit), and continuing to be unhappy.

Until about a month ago when I actually read one of the captions. To be honest, I can’t remember which one it was because, in actuality, it was just a pretty normal post for Keep Going Kat. But it made me stop and think. And kinda want to get up from my couch.

So I clicked on her page again and read some of the success stories (including her own). And I saw women who were smiling during their work outs, who had formed a community with other women spanning the globe trying to work on themselves. And I figured, I could try this one out too. So I went to her site (previously linked up there!) and put in my information and some money. And decided I was going to go to work!!! In three weeks when the challenge started – which meant that I had amble time to break up with Mr. Couch and Mr. Chocolate Cake….

And I started with all the ambition and motivation in the world! I was going to be a bad ass queen worthy of Beyonce and even Kat herself! I was going to go the distance!

And that lasted all of two weeks.

Work became busier with long stretches of night shifts, holidays were coming up….really, I could come up with a thousand excuses but really, I just missed Mr. Couch and Mr. Netflix and Chocolate Cake. Old habits are hard to break!

So Kat came out with a new challenge. Only this wasn’t going to be a challenge with a start and stop date. It was going to be a mindset change. One in which happiness, self love, positivity, and balance were the foremost important things and not what was happening on the scale. I signed up immediately.

I didn’t even think about it. I signed up. This was something that was going to help me in more than just the fitness/eating aspect of my life. This was going to change some of those bad habits. I might finally break up with Mr. Chocolate Cake, Mr. Couch, or Mr. Netflix (or at least balance out the time I spend with them and Mr. Yoga Mat and Mr. Dumbell! I mean, c’mon, I’m still a person here!)!

Which leads us to Day 1 of this “Fit for Life Method” and the mindset shift.

And since I’m sick, Mr. Couch and Mr. Netflix are still heavily involved in my life at the moment, and my workouts are going to have to wait. However, I can still start this new mindset shift with all my other bad ass ladies today.

Daily, I will work on the Transformation Journal that Kat has provided to help with this mindset shift. Hopefully, having the accountability of this blog will help with many of my goals: 1) not quitting everything I start like I have been known to do, 2) blog more frequently and often so that I can start my side-gig of medicine, 3) encourage others to try Kat and her community out!

So here it goes!

“My Intention for Today is”….to set an accountability goal for myself with this blog. I have always wanted to be a blogger and have started (and then deleted) my blogs hundreds of times. I have always loved writing and feel like I have a unique voice (I mean how many liberal, female ER docs from SoCal are in Southeast Michigan? Let me tell you, it’s one. It’s lonely out here…hence the love affair with Mr. Couch, Mr. Chocolate Cake, and Mr. Netflix!!!). Blogging about medicine, life as a young physician, current events, and even my own persona life has always been something I have wanted to do but have always been too scared to actually commit to doing. Using these journal prompts, Kat’s secret sauce (consistency), and my motivation for this mindset shift, seems like a good place to get started on just daily writing and posting.

So, readers, if you are out there, please keep me accountable! And enjoy the ride. I can’t guarantee where we’re going to end up, but I’m hoping the ride is worth it!