“This month I will”….

Setting goals as always been something I have been able to do. And usually attain them.

From a young age, I was always really goal-oriented. I focused on getting that A, graduating high school, getting into a good college, and finally getting into medical school, residency, and a real attending job. Up to this point, the “becoming a doctor” goal totally eclipsed my life. But now, as residency is approaching it’s end (don’t get too excited, I still have 1.5 years left….), my goals, or the ability to set such goals, has wavered.

So I find it fitting that this challenge is focused on goal setting in the aspects of my life that I have allowed to be eclipsed.

“This month I will”….

1. allow myself to be a beginner
2. use this blog on a regular basis
3. start

As a particularly ambitious and fairly intelligent person, being a beginner is not something I am good at -like at all. I pride myself on being “the smart one”, “the good one”, and “the problem-solver”. In fact, a large majority of my self identity is based on being those things. And problems, talents, or practically anything that threatens my identity are things that I tend to avoid. Like they are the plague. So I start things, try them out, and then realize that I am not immediately an amazing genius at that task and put those things to the side. But not this month. This month, I am going to embrace being a beginner and allow myself some grace in the process. For example, I’ve spoken on this blog before about how I have wanted to blog for a while. But, again because I do not like being a beginner and not immediately successful, I have started and stopped multiple times. But to do something, you have to start somewhere. So I’m going to be a beginner and work on this blog like I am working on myself.  Instead of second guessing every blog (as I am apt to do and promptly delete them) or life choice, I am going to continue to write and watch how my writing evolves along with my evolution. I am going to praise my writing for what it is and not criticize it like I have done previously.

In essence, this month, I’ll be starting. And while this month might just be a start. I can’t wait to see what I can do next month.